because life is nothing without you

she sits by the fire
and turns the pages of her long lost diary
photos that were lost in the attic of her memory
shine in her misty eyes

she goes back to the time
when summers were warm and music had melody
the time when she knew she had everything
and the fear of losing nothing

she doesnt know i see her
keep an eye on the only one i call mine
she took a day at a time
and now she struggles through the hours

she has gone to an entirely different plane
and i cant touch her there
she sees me but she cant hear my voice
the words i miserably try to bring forth

my own grief knows no bounds
how do i even imagine what she goes through?
everytime she hugs me
i hear her heart break a thousand pieces
when her soul misses its first creation

how do i make her understand
that the pain is not beyond me?
that it engulfs us all?
that we miss you no less?
that your mere absence haunts my living?

how do i make her believe
that just because my tears overwhelm me only in the darkest corners of night
i dont bleed?
that every so often i dial a familiar number in the hope of it finally being answered?
that the car horn in the midst of night wakes me in the hope your knocking at the door?

how do i tell her my fears
why i dont dare to leave her alone?
why phone calls in the early morning hours scare me?
why i never go to your old room anymore?

how do i explain my fake smile?
how do i tell her i dont talk about you
because it aches within me?
how do i tell her i know that whatever,whatever we do
nothing can ever replace your love

we just pretend life will be okay one day
that happiness will come in your reincarnate
that we believe in the strength that let us down
that lost hopes will be found again
and we steal memories from each other
to keep snatches of you
in our hearts forever
for her and me and everyone else...
come back.


dearest bum.we love you a lot.