Thursday, March 25, 2010

My life,in this world

My maid told me of an incident that happened in her village a couple of years ago.It was shocking and so terrible.
A minor girl,around 16 or 17,was gang-raped.She became pregnant,and her family practically abandoned her,because of the shame that she had supposedly brought onto them.She lived poorly,wandering alone,and ran away from her house.Due to depression,she became mentally ill.She was raped again,while she was still pregnant.She committed suicide.
It was so horrible listening to this.I can't even imagine the pain that she must have gone through.Will power and self confidence are very nice lofty words to say...how could she have practiced it?What belief had she left in this world?

Just some thoughts on it.Its very cold and gory.May she rest in peace.To all those women who have to bring a part of their being into life in this horrible cruel world,because of circumstances they can do nothing about.

how do I bring my life into this world?
where even your own blood can kill?
its such a cruel hell
I have no words

how do I explain to this life
why daddy may not come home one night?
that the thunder and stormy skies
are not the only things to be frightened of

how do I match my eyes with the innocence of my life?
with the sins I have committed
and while regret will haunt me to eternity?

how do I guide my life
through this space of hatred and murder
knowing so well that one shot
could kill so many lives

I lay in my own pool of blood
and wonder how long my life will survive after me
how long my life will live through this shame of mine
so I let my breath spool out of me
my life will die within me
and yet it will live better than in this life,
in this world

Monday, March 15, 2010

Rajdeep Sardesai's letter to Uddhav Thackeray

Rajdeep Sardesai,a well known journalist,sent a letter to Uddhav Thackeray,heir of the Shiv Sena, on the whole "Marathi manoos" issue.

Wiki : Rajdeep Sardesai
Wiki : Uddhav Thackeray

It makes for a very interesting read,seeing the reaction of a renowned member of the Press addressing a political leader with much force.

Dear Udhavjee,

At the very outset, my compliments for the manner in which you've literally 'stolen' the headlines from your cousin Raj in the last fortnight. After the Assembly election defeat last October, there were many who had written you off as a weak, namby-pamby politician, who would be better off doing photography. But now, it seems that the 'fire' which burns inside Bal Thackeray is alive in the son too. After years of struggling to establish yourself, you have finally discovered the mantra for success as a Shiv Sena leader: find an 'enemy', threaten and intimidate them, commit the odd violent act, and, eureka!, you are anointed the true heir to the original 'T' company supremo.

Your cousin has chosen to bash faceless taxi drivers and students from North India, soft targets who are totally unprotected. You've been much braver. You've actually chosen to target national icons: Sachin Tendulkar, Mukesh Ambani, Shah Rukh Khan, powerful figures who most Indians venerate. Shah Rukh is no surprise since the Sena has always been uncomfortable with the Indian Muslim identity. Forty years ago, your father had questioned Dilip Kumar's patriotism for accepting an award from the Pakistani government. You've called Shah Rukh a traitor for wishing to choose Pakistani cricketers in the IPL. That your father invited Javed Miandad, the former Pakistani captain and a close relation of Dawood Ibrahim, to your house is a matter of record that we shall not go into today.

I am a little surprised that you chose to question Ambani and Tendulkar though. The Sena has always enjoyed an excellent relationship with corporate India. Why then criticise India's biggest businessman for suggesting that Mumbai belongs to all? After all, no one can deny that Mumbai's entrepreneurial energy has been driven by communities from across India. The diatribe against Sachin is even more strange. He is, alongwith Lata Mangeshkar, Maharashtra's most admired and recognised face. Surely, you will agree that Sachin symbolizes Maharashtrian pride in a manner that renaming shops and streets in Marathi never can.

Of course, in-between some of your local thugs also attacked the IBN Lokmat office. I must confess that initially the attack did leave me outraged. Why would a political outfit that claims to protect Maharashtrian culture attack a leading Marathi news channel? But on reflection I realized that we hadn't been singled out: over the last four decades, the Shiv Sena has targeted some of Maharashtra's finest literary figures and journalistic institutions. That you continue to live in a colony of artists while attacking artistic freedom remains one of the many tragic ironies in the evolution of the Sena.

Just before the Assembly elections, you had told me in an interview that you were determined to shake off the Shiv Sena's legacy of violence. You spoke of the need for welfarist politics, of how you were saddened that rural Maharashtra was being left behind. I was impressed by the farmer rallies you had organized, by the fact that you had documented farmer suicides in the state. I thought that Uddhav Thackeray was serious about effecting a change in Maharashtra's political landscape.

I was obviously mistaken. Farmer suicides still continue, the after-effects of drought are still being faced in several districts, but the focus is now squarely on finding high profile hate figures. You claim to have a vision for Mumbai. Yet, on the day the Sena-controlled city's municipal corporation's annual budget revealed an alarming financial crisis, your party mouthpiece,Saamna, was running banner headlines seeking an apology from Shah Rukh Khan. You asked your Shiv Sainiks to agitate against Rahul Gandhi's visit to Mumbai, but why have you not asked them to wage a war against the water cuts that have made life so difficult for millions in the city?

At one level, I can understand the reasons for your frustration. The Congress-NCP government in the state has been thoroughly incompetent: the last decade has seen Maharashtra decline on most social and economic parameters. Yet, the Shiv Sena has been unable to capture power in the state. Your war with cousin Raj has proved to be self-destructive. The Assembly election results showed that a united Sena may have offered a real challenge to the ruling alliance. In fact, the Sena and the MNS together garnered around 43 per cent of the popular vote in Mumbai-Thane, almost seven per cent more than what was obtained by the Congress-NCP combine. Yet, because your vote was split, you won just nine of the 60 seats in the region, a result which proved decisive in the overall state tally.

Your defeat seems to have convinced you that the only way forward is to outdo your cousin in parochial politics. It's a strategy which has undoubtedly made you a headline-grabber once again. Unfortunately, television rating points don't get you votes or goodwill. There is space in Maharashtra's politics for a regional force, but it needs to be based on a constructive, inclusive identity.

Tragically, the Shiv Sena has never offered a serious social or economic agenda for the future. Setting up the odd wada pav stall in Mumbai is hardly a recipe for addressing the job crisis . Why hasn't the Sena, for example, started training projects to make Maharashtrian youth face upto the challenges of a competitive job market? Why doesn't the Sena give regional culture a boost by supporting Marathi theatre, literature or cinema? The wonderful Marathi film, "Harishchandrachee Factory", nominated for the Oscars, has been co-produced by Ronnie Screwvala, a Parsi, who like millions of other 'outsiders' has made Mumbai his home. Maybe, I ask for too much. Tigers, used to bullying others for years, will never change their stripes.

Post-script: Your charming son, Aditya, who is studying English Literature in St Xaviers College, had sent me a collection of his poems. I was most impressed with his writing skills. Let's hope the next generation of the T company will finally realize that there is more to life than rabble-rousing!

Jai Hind, Jai Maharashtra!

Monday, March 8, 2010

because life is nothing without you

she sits by the fire
and turns the pages of her long lost diary
photos that were lost in the attic of her memory
shine in her misty eyes

she goes back to the time
when summers were warm and music had melody
the time when she knew she had everything
and the fear of losing nothing

she doesnt know i see her
keep an eye on the only one i call mine
she took a day at a time
and now she struggles through the hours

she has gone to an entirely different plane
and i cant touch her there
she sees me but she cant hear my voice
the words i miserably try to bring forth

my own grief knows no bounds
how do i even imagine what she goes through?
everytime she hugs me
i hear her heart break a thousand pieces
when her soul misses its first creation

how do i make her understand
that the pain is not beyond me?
that it engulfs us all?
that we miss you no less?
that your mere absence haunts my living?

how do i make her believe
that just because my tears overwhelm me only in the darkest corners of night
i dont bleed?
that every so often i dial a familiar number in the hope of it finally being answered?
that the car horn in the midst of night wakes me in the hope your knocking at the door?

how do i tell her my fears
why i dont dare to leave her alone?
why phone calls in the early morning hours scare me?
why i never go to your old room anymore?

how do i explain my fake smile?
how do i tell her i dont talk about you
because it aches within me?
how do i tell her i know that whatever,whatever we do
nothing can ever replace your love

we just pretend life will be okay one day
that happiness will come in your reincarnate
that we believe in the strength that let us down
that lost hopes will be found again
and we steal memories from each other
to keep snatches of you
in our hearts forever
for her and me and everyone else...
come back.


dearest bum.we love you a lot.