Photo class : Day 2

A Picture I took of a statue at home.I rather like it :)

18th July,2010
Class at 8 a.m.Run run run when you wake up at 6.30 a.m. on a Sunday no less.
SO :
Verdict of the day?It wasn't bad,to be honest.It was quite decent really.We started out by going to the campus and doing some outdoor photography of the campus garden-with the main aim of concentrating on light -which really was a bit of a task because the garden was more or less a petridish of weeds and grasses.But that was interesting,because we had strict instructions to take pictures only on the Auto mode,so primarily,the only way we could experiment was with our subject and composition.And with about 18 of us in a limited space,it was a small challenge to decide the best way to take a unique picture that 17 others could not possibly take.After about an hour there,we were told the group could break up and we could wander outside the garden to the rest of the campus.That was sort of convenient for me because college is second home to me now,but my camera's battery was taking its last breath,so I had to go back to the classroom to charge it for a bit.While my friend and I waited for that to happen,this other girl from our class was also there,so we talked for a bit.It was nice - she's human,whoopay.After that was done,I didn't have much time on my hands - since we had to be back in the classroom by ten - so I wandered around,took some pictures of the bamboo garden I rather like,and came back  with two minutes to spare.
After that,we had a presentation on the origin of photogrpahy and some basic concepts.That was good,theory that helped.
Assignment was to get at least ten pictures over the next week,experimenting with aperture and shutterspeed.I ended up getting around 160 pictures,all in one day :P
Day 3 tomorrow.Let's hope it gets better,and the rain doesnt play spoilsport should we go for outdoor shooting.

P.S. -Contemplating joining Flickr.com and uploading my best.Won't get better till I've heard constructive criticism and oh-so-wonderful encouragement from unknown people :)
More on that later,
Cheers :)

Photo class : Day 1

17th July,2010

Had my first digital photography class today.
It was kind of disappointing - to be honest - because I expected more enthusiasm,more fun,nicer people.But I'm assuming too much too soon,so I won't base my views on judgements formed in one day.
So my friend and I reached the classroom at 3 p.m. looked around,it was puzzling really,because people seemed as if they had woken up from sleep.We got chairs at the back,and sat ourselves down,while one of our - teachers?guides?professors? - fiddled around with the laptop and the projector.
One of the teachers/guides/professors came and gave an introduction on photography,just a basic opening discussion.We then saw a ppt of '"ten reasons why you should do photography" and that was SO choro-fied,it wasnt even funny :P It had terms like "Little League matches" and "backyard".Ha.
Then the other instructor/guide/teacher/professor explained a little about DSLR,SLR,Semi SLR and the Box cameras,briefly outlining the basic course structure.They gave us a little advice on what to keep in mind while buying a camera.Well,it wasn't anything awe-inspiring,pretty elementary stuff,really.We were dismissed after that - although our lectures(?)/discussions(?) were to go on till 6 p.m.
Tomorrow we've been asked to come equipped with camera and associated equipment,and shall hopefully get started.The class of about 18 people will be divided into two groups,each to be headed by one of the instructors : Outdoor and indoor.Im praying I dont end up with the weirdo who has been doing wildlife photogrpahy for four years but joined this class for "fine-tuning" his basics,and ends up showing off too much.
hmph.
Hoping tomorrow is way way better,and that I learn something,and that through this class,I can see the world and capture it in the best way possible :)

Good night!
cheers!

Today

Today,today I watch you as sleep takes over
There's a content smile on your face,though I see the depth of your sadness.
Your lying next to me and your warmth reaches the crux of my soul.
I have fought my battles,
Tried to emerge victorious.
You stood by me,
Held my hand when I walked into the unknown,
Been the shoulder that kept me company in those dark nights I wanted to scream through.

Today,today I lie looking at you
Thinking of the times we shared...
Those dreams of living together...forever.
Never growing old,
Building castles of bliss.
I create a parallel universe in my mind,
I wish I could turn it to reality.
I see the future and you standing there with me.

Today.today I wish I could ask the higher strengths
Time,that slips out of my hand like water in  the rain
I struggle for a breath , a faith to keep me strong,
A belief that could turn things right.
I reach out,touch your hand,
Feel the life that surges through me.
Today,today there is hope.
Not for tomorrow,but for today.
Today,I'm not afraid
I know I can let go:
There's only so much I can hold onto.
Today,I know
I face the uncertainty.
And when the white light comes today,
Today,I shall surrender.
Forever.

*Dedicated to all the family members and loved ones of people who have been unfortunate to be struck by a terminal disease.Dedicated to their strength to bear,carry,encourage and survive through the worst.

04-06-2010

It's been 1 year,5 months and 21 days.
And I still miss you just as much.
To all those who say time heals wounds - it doesn't.It's a wonderful phrase to say when you have no other words of comfort.But really,it doesn't.Time just distances you from an event and a person.It tries and fades memories and all that you cling to.But it heals no wounds.It just deludes you and fools you into believing otherwise.
I was playing with Odie today.Splashing water,fooling around.Laughing like a kid.I felt so carefree.And when I laughed,it came from within.Not like the hollow laugh that does light my eyes,but not from within.And then there was this really big pain inside when I remembered our last Holi together.It was just like that...throwing water on each other...I didn't cry.Of course I couldnt.Mom was there.I was laughing.And the next moment I was feeling guilty.
I miss you.This life,I feel guilty about it.I can't stop thinking why or how.I can't stop wishing that if it had to be someone,then why not me?I have done nothing to deserve this life.But you were such a precious person.Such a wonderful son,intelligent student,all rounder.A friend everyone envied.A brother I couldnt have asked more from.A terrible singer and those horrible tunes you played.Everyone needs you.No matter how much we try to hide it from others and from our own selves,we need you.
It's completely removed my faith from "God".All those things people say about "God is testing you when he puts you through tough times"...I don't need that.I never wanted a God.Never wanted his help or him to doubt my faith in him.Why test us for that?
I read this book called "Pure Evil" today,written by a mother whose 25 year old son was hacked to death by his girlfriend.She described the pain and agony the family went through during the trials.She said she couldn't describe it and noone would understand it till they themselves had gone through it.A year back,neither would I.When she wrote about her daughter's speech in the memorial service held for her son,I cried.
I just wanted to let you know how much I loved you and appreciated your presence in my life.Regret,remorse is killing me.
And I miss you.

the first monsoon's quick post

It's the first day of June,2010,1522 hours.
It was hot in the morning,so much so that I had second thoughts while getting dressed to go for the morning walk.I was greeted by a superbly fantastic sight when I opened my today morning...3 lovely books of German on my desk :) whooopay.Really,it's time I start concentrating on my German which is deteriorating in the two months of summer holidays quite like the drops of water on a hot tin roof.
It's an idyllic summer day.It started raining about a half hour back.It looks lovely now.This is my favourite time of the year...the sweltering heat.The relief of the rains.The lovely breeze.The crackling clouds weak with thunder.And that perfectly heaven smell of wet earth.The hunger to eat something warm - samosas,soups,coffee and the ever favourite : Maggi.Digging up old classics to listen to and sing alongwith.And the bestest part of it all : the skies.They are so heartachingly beautiful...lovely hues,all clear after the rains...I wish I could capture every monsoon evening on a camera roll.

Till later :)
cheers

इस रिश्ते को...

इस रिश्ते को क्या नाम दूं?
बहुत कहा,बहुत सुना
फिर भी है ये लम्बी ख़ामोशी
ये अजीब दूरी,ये करीबी

दोस्ती नहीं,शायद प्यार ही सही
कैसा मौसम,ऐसा एहसास
कुछ करने की ज़रूरत
यूँही बैठे रहने की चाह

बहुत मस्ती,थोड़ी घबराहट
बंधी सी इस आज़ादी से
कभी सोचती,कभी मुस्कुराती
यूँ मचलती,यूँ नाचती

इस लम्हे को समझना चाहती हूँ
कोई ख्वाब,कोई सच
छूना नहीं चाहती तुम्हे
ये तितली हमेशा के लिए उड़ गयी तो?

अँधेरे मैं सूरज हो
या शायद कुछ कम,कुछ ज्यादा
तुम्हारी ज़िन्दगी मेरे लिए खुली किताब
और मेरी आँखों के पीछे हैं बंद दरवाज़े
समझोगे कब?
इस रिश्ते को क्या नाम दूं?

for you.

Went through your things today.Memories were settled on it as thick and firm as dust.Some things made me smile and remember the days we loved.Most made me cry on how we can never create those days again.There are so many times that come back to me.Casual words I never meant,so much I shouldn't have said.Million things I should have otherwise shared.Its said : time heals all wounds,I should let go of the pain.But how do I live without it?There's a desperate need to hear your voice again.An urgency I can't describe to hear your silly laugh.A desperate want to hear you sing and play those tunes you loved.There's a picture of you in my mind.Sitting by the table looking outside.I want it to be real.I hate this world.I found a book amongst your things.It mentioned You and I.You captured parts of our childhood in it.It makes you all the more special.I wear your shirt,the one you wore too much.Your scent has faded away.I want you to bring it back again.There's a silly sweet poem you wrote on me when you were ten or so.You called me your darling sister and printed it on special paper.It's got the remains of my tears on it now.I flip through your forbidden diary.There's another side of you I didn't know in it.I wish I had understood you then as you were.You could have been so much more near.There's an ache in my heart when your friends share your stories with me.I don't want to know those stories,just as I wouldn't have ever heard them were you here.I want your advice on so many issues.But where do I turn?These memories,I don't want them.I want you.I'm afraid of moving anything in your room.I want things to be just as you left them.I want you to fight with me,hit me,make me cry...anything,just to feel your presence again.This empty existence of mine,it's not called living.Do something,make me feel again.Just be okay,just be here.
My dearest stupid boy,I love you and I' so so sorry I didn't tell you that enough.I just hope you know it.Missing my pig like hell.
Take care off all those girls I bet your dating in heaven.And they had better take good care of you.