Day 1 of Holidays

Finally.FINALLY.
It is..to quote Shakespeare " Liberty! Freedom! Enfranchisement! "
I am done with my boards.It's still to sink in,but oh boy,the joy of not doing anything is beautiful.
So that is precisely what I did today.Nothing fruitful.
What remains to be seen if all my days will go this way.
I miss people.Important people in my life. :(
Hoping for better days :)

On Hoping.

March 16,2011

Hope. It’s a strange thing. It makes you believe. Believe in something, just making you pray that luck favours you. And you believe so hard, so much, for so long, that after a period of time, you give up. Because the future is not that close. Because although you keep the light at the end of the tunnel on your mind,  it seems as if the long way to that light will never end. So you build up your defences. Decide that its you on your own, abandon faith, move on. You prepare for the worst or the best – whatever comes your way. You just stop believing in miracles and just divert all your energy in simply fighting the battle, whatever’s thrown your way.And you don’t even seem to be doing all that badly. You’ve lowered your expectations, how much worse and lowly can things get?

And then wham. Hope hits you. Hard. In the gut. Takes you down, takes the breath out of you, shakes the ground you fall on.

And still manages to take you by surprise.

And makes you happy.

Somethings are best when they disappoint you the most. And then turn around to make your world a happier place.

Hope is at its best when its given up on.

Hope. Give up. And then start believing again.

Let it convince you why somethings are worth the sadness,the long wait and the anxiety. Hope.

Stranger

the amber time of day

and dusk in the thoughts of my mind

lonesome me and a lonesome room to return to...

I had had a bad day.

arguing with the crowded silence 

on the streets that led me home,

battling with the shrouded ignorance

the world never moves wrong.

and then I saw you

nothing special,nothing bright.

just another lonesome wandering body 

out on the pavement,

under the street light

confused,I stopped

who likes company when they're down and out?

for you stared in the distance

lost look in your eyes.

seemingly, conspiracy had plotted with the universe.

yet you threw me a glance

a smile with it chaperoned.

and patted the empty distance next to you,

nodding at the bench.

so I approached

hesitant and apprehensive.

what did I have to lose

moments of warm companionship for a long tired day were more than I bargained for.

there we sat for an hour or two

just you and I in complete solitude.

the clock ticked by,

I didn't know.

people passed,

some threw us a second glance :

"just another quarelling young couple.

they'll find peace in a while".

broken in my reverie,

I got up and shook the dust.

gave a final smile to the man 

I wouldn't forget in this life.

walking away before I knew it was too late to turn back

I felt mysterious tranquility and sedation,

comfort in emotion.

love,friendship and life were again in contemplated perspective.

strangeness is strange

how there's much to share in silence with a stranger.

Where've you gone?

Look where've come,

Back to where our shadows started.

And I forget,forget how it began.

I'd write a song about it,

If it meant something,

But I guess it's just that the time wasn't right.

Wrapped like a finger to mine,where've you gone?

Strung like a guitar string,where've you gone?

Like the lone noisy flag fluttering in the wind,where've you gone?

Like a part of me,where've you gone?

Look how we walk on different sides of the same road.

And I forget,forget on why we wanted the same things.

If I could make you believe this,

It's this something,

I believe we both deserved better than this.

Wrapped like a finger to mine,where've you gone?

Strung like a guitar string,where've you gone?

Like the lone noisy flag fluttering in the wind,where've you gone?

Like a part of me,where've you gone?

Look how we're closer to falling apart together.

And I forget,forget why this is such a bittersweet regret.

I'd hold on to you now

If I weren't scared to touch you,

Something has changed.

Wrapped like a finger to mine,where've you gone?

Strung like a guitar string,where've you gone?

Like the lone noisy flag fluttering in the wind,where've you gone?

Like a part of me,where've you gone?

Look how we go on,

Separately together.

And I forget,forget why I don't want to be here,

Doing this.

I'd wait here as long as it takes you,

If it weren't for the memories we make 

That turn to rust.

Where've you gone?

Photographing (?!) nudes.

For some strange unexplained reason,I  have a strong urge to do a series on the human anatomy. To do nudes - to put it bluntly.
Do not consider this as some pervert need to see the naked human body.That is hardly what attracts me to this interesting subject in photography.What does interest me,is the form and the figures.I have always been fascinated with portraits.Somewhere,portraits and nudes are inter-linked.An expression of the sheer joy of physicality.
There is something about the human skin and the way light strikes it.The curves,the lines,the texture.The most efficient and complex thing on earth.It's an unexplored subject,despite the volumes that has been researched,discovered,written and painted or photographed about it.
Everyone perceives their body differently.Some shy away,some flaunt it.Some are hesitant,some confident.People are fat,thin.Or just ok.They are hairy or bald. Skinny or fleshy - Human anatomy is perfection in its complexities.

I recall this book I read on the right types of clothes women should wear according to their body shapes by Susannah and Trinny.The book was divided into different sections,each describing the kind of clothes that would suit a type of body part.For instance,people with broad shoulders and slim shoulders.The pages which displayed the title of each of these sections had a picture of a nude female,displaying only that part of the body,as suggested by the title.The pictures were so beautiful -all shot in black and white.They were aesthetic and tasteful.In no way was the model's face or expression shown.It did not compromise on her modesty or allure with her sexuality.There were absolutely no sexual undertones.Simply a picture of a part of the human body,beautifully and artistically displayed.The shades,the tones,the lighting was so impressive,that it has left a mark on my mind.It is my inspiration,should I ever get down to doing this series.
However,*sigh*,it's a mean task.Mostly,because it requires a model who is bold enough and who can completely shed inhibitions along with the clothes.Besides,it also requires strength/courage on the photographer's part.In the neo-conservative times we live in,it is still difficult for the masses to accept the beauty of nudity.
But alas, what is a photographer's worth if he cannot display his work?

(Photograph courtesy : - found new pictures of nude pregnant women.Brilliance! on maternitybykoren)

a countdown to old age

7.
13.
16.

what are these figures?generally,the age in a person's life where birthdays matter.
I dont remember having a memorable birthday.ever.of the 17 years of my life so far,I've never yet had a spectacular birthday that I would remember fondly and cherish.
Nothing spectacular,no surprises,no showy gifts.I really think all of this is alright- this isnt what makes your birthday.
firstly,whats the importance of a birthday?well,it is important.because for a change,people centre happiness around you for 24 hours.just you.for regular people,it's a rarity.it doesnt happen on 364 days and 6 hours.its just one day when your made to feel special and wanted and loved and cared for.
gifts...really.too many people give gifts undue importance.gifts should be meant as a form of gratitude,a symbol of affection.instead,they've become objects of compulsion that must be given and MUST be taken with a smile on the face.A gift should be thoughtful.
my idea of a perfect birthday is just to be with people I like and love.and who like and love me back.
My entire family,friends close and dear and some good food.I've never had this birthday.
this year too,I wont.Because my family is incomplete.and that breaks my heart.because this year,it matters to me and somewhere I have a puritan belief that a year that starts well,goes well.
so much so for happiness and joy and best wishes.

It would make more sense if the life cycle was all backwards...
Die first and get death out of the way.Then,you live in an age-old home with pension.You get your PF and start working.You work for 40 years,until your young enough to enjoy retirement.You booze,party and get ready for college.Then,you become a kid - play,have no worries.You become a little baby,go back into the womb,spend your last 9 months floating,and finish off as a chromosome.
Life is beautiful :)


This was a forward I recieved on my cell one day.I just like how it puts life into perspective.